ok. i am here.
i din noe wats stress. wats real stress. to me life is a passing breeze. things come and go. tts part of life. i was always lidat. no point being stressed abt something or anything. my poly frens lik to laugh at my studies. i am always last few in class. gpa at 2.0 plus. cause i dun realli give a shit. jus wanna get through it.
until today. the 1st time i felt stress. it will create problems both, mentally and physically.
y i said i finally felt it. i loved singing. i always do. and i always knew and believe i can. expectations were set. by myself. i knew wat i wanted for the 1st time. i knew. but i failed to reach my own expectations. tts when pressure came in. everything flow in altgt.
i din noe wat to do. i hate singing all of a sudden. i wanted to cut my wrist. i wanted to commit suicide. dramatic. but its true. the thought came to my mind. i was always a logical person, always telling ppl wat to do. but i actually took out my penknife on the bus, thinking abt pain to relieve the stress i am goin through. i thought abt the times, i preached abt y issit tis and tt. y nt tis and nt tt. but when the real problem struck me. i gave up instantly. i became quiet. nt talking when there is no need for speaking. i din cut myself thx to the disgusting scene i seen online abt a guy who cut his hand and digging out the flesh. it kinda stop me from doin anything stupid.
tis is dumb. but its happening. arghh. fuck it. seriously.
period.